Walk In It
Think about a time when you had an opportunity to give your elevator pitch, but you weren't able to deliver it in the way you saw fit. Do you remember that feeling? Did you then start to second-guess yourself and wonder if you'd even done enough to have a pitch? I want to tell you, maybe that's not the case. Maybe, in fact, you are ready; you just don't feel confident enough in who you are.
That thing called confidence makes a world of difference. You could know absolutely nothing about what you're talking about, but if you say it with confidence and conviction, people will believe you. Now imagine if you actually did have some knowledge, and you were able to combine it with your lived experiences.
Sometimes when we get into rooms that feel bigger than ourselves, we tend to forget our worth—the very thing that got us to the room in the first place. You are there for a reason. You would not be in the room if you weren't able, so that's more than half the battle right there. Once you start walking in these truths, your chest sticks out a little more, and your head is raised a bit higher.
This weekend, I was reminded that you have to be your full authentic self. If you aren't, it is detrimental not only to yourself but also to those around you. To me, there are three things you have to do when advocating and networking for yourself.
Understand how to keep a conversation going
If you can't keep a conversation going, how can you expect to talk long enough with someone so they know who you are? Like most skills, this can be developed through having actual discussions. A good way to do this is by practicing active listening, which is defined as engaging closely with what a speaker is saying to you and showing understanding. Some ways to practice active listening are by quickly summarizing a point that someone made and adding context so they can expand on their answer.
Connect on a personal level through something mentioned in conversation
Once you start to actively listen, you can then start to make personal connections. This is a factor that will make someone remember more than just your name. They will see your face when they think of you, and that is powerful. Fair warning, a personal connection must be genuine and authentic. A real-world example may be introducing yourself at a networking event, and through conversation, you find out someone is from the same location as you. I played sports all my life, so I always ask the person if they are a local sports fan. People can definitely tell if it is not authentic, so don't try to fake it until you make it.
Make yourself memorable and mutually beneficial
As mentioned earlier, if you can make someone laugh, ponder, or trigger an emotion, then you can deepen that social tie. For example, when I meet someone from New Jersey, I always ask if they were OG Nets fans. That question can spark a core memory that will bring them some nostalgia. You may receive a response like, 'Yeah, I was definitely a Nets fan! I remember going to the IZOD center with my family; it was such a great time. That quality time with my father was amazing; we bonded so much!' A response like that is exactly what you want. That person now has an invested interest in this conversation because it gave them a sense of euphoria from that core memory. You also can have several follow-up questions based on actively listening to their response as well.
To me, if you can keep these three things in mind when building your network, you will be amazed at the amount of social capital you will have received. You may think that social capital is not as valuable as physical capital, but it is actually worth more. Expanding your social capital actually makes you start to understand yourself better—this self-actualization, which is simply self-discovery and understanding. You can then turn your social capital into physical capital. On the contrary, the same can't be said about physical capital turning into social capital. You can try to buy friends or relationships, but eventually, they will show you who they are. All relationships should be built naturally and be mutually beneficial. Keep building your network and keep chasing those million$!